See Ya Soon
by Jenny Giles
Summary: Giles angst about Jenny's death **tearjerker**


Title: See ya Soon Author: ~*Anne*~ (lil_ms_talks_a_lot@yahoo.com) Rating: PG-13 Feedback: Sure, even a flame would cheer me up. Summary: Set about two seconds after Buffy socked Giles in "Passion". It's his POV, and it goes until the graveyard scene. Pairing(s): Giles/Jenny (Some Buffy bashing, beware) Disclaimer: Don't own em'. Don't really want em' after what Joss did to em'. (Who am I kidding? Gimme, Gimme!) Author's Notes: I wrote this on the spur of the moment after watching Passion and becoming very depressed. So there was no beta reading, any mistakes are mine. It might not be very good, it was just a way to get myself out of a mood. It didn't work, but oh well.  
I can feel myself hit the ground hard after she hits me. She's talking, and I'm not listening. I don't want to listen to her. I want to hit her, I want her to hurt.  
  
That's not true. I want myself to hurt. I want her to hit me again. I want Angelus to come back. I want him to snap my neck like Jenny's. I want a lot of things actually, but what I don't want is for Buffy to hurt. Of for myself to wish hurt upon her.  
  
It's hard though. As she holds me, the only thought running through my mind is that she could have stopped this. She had Angelus cornered at the mall, she told me she did. But she was still in love with him. She couldn't kill him. And because of that Jenny is dead.  
  
Later, at my apartment, Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Cordelia are cleaning up what's left of the roses Angelus so thoughtfully left. I'm trying to help, picking up a pedal here or there, but I mostly just watch. I am actually watching myself come through the door, a hopeful look on my face. I watch myself read the note, remove my coat, and carry the champagne upstairs. A loud crash shakes me from my thoughts, as Xander carelessly knocks over the ice bucket. He looks at everyone sheepishly and starts to clean up the water. It's been pretty much silent since we arrived, and Buffy is the first to disturb the quiet.  
  
"Giles, we'd better get going. I um...I'll clean up the bedroom if you'd like."  
  
My head snaps up as she says this. It takes all my energy left not to scream at her. "No, Buffy. I'll clean it myself. I can finish up here, you four should get home."  
  
"But Giles," Xander starts.  
  
"No buts Xander, this is my apartment. My responsibiltiy. I'll take care of it."  
  
The four of them look at me solemnly, with pity in their eyes. I don't want their fucking pity. I want them out. Luckily, Cordelia saves me in her not- so-subtle way.  
  
"Great idea Giles! Let's go guys."  
  
They look at her like she is the most insensitive person in the world. But I know she is shaken, and sad. Either way, the other three take our suggestions and head toward the door, saying their goodbyes quietly as they shut it.  
  
Finally. Alone.  
  
I stay downstairs for awhile, drinking. That's right, I'm getting smashed. I thought the pain would deteriorate the drunker I got, but it just seems to be getting worse. Eventually I call it a night and turn everything off downstairs.  
  
Standing at the foot of the stairs, I'm reliving my evening. Coming home, expecting to find Jenny in my bed. I was so fucking happy, I should have known something was wrong. When is the last time I was actually happy? The universe just doesn't work that way. No happiness for Giles.  
  
That's not true either. I was happy for awhile. I was deliriously happy actually.  
  
I realize when I reach the last step that I've climbed the stairs to my bedroom. Amazingly, it's not hard for me to enter. I thought it would be hard. I actually wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to sleep in my bed again. But as I pull my clothes off and slip under the sheets...new sheets, I smell Jenny's perfume on the pillows. I hug one tightly to my chest as I will the tears not to come. Sleep comes easily, and soon I'm dreaming.  
  
In my dream, I walk up the pathway to my apartment door. There is no rose in the doorway and I step inside. There is no music playing, no champagne chilling. However, there is a message on my machine. I hit the button as I walk towards the kitchen, preparing to perform the spell to keep Angel out. I hear Jenny's voice.  
  
"Rupert," she says, sounding out of breath, "I'm at Buffy's. Angel attacked me at the school, but I'm okay. I think I got here just after you left actually. When you get this, come back by Buffy's. Xander and Cordelia are here, too. I have some news. See you soon."  
  
There is a brief pause.  
  
"Oh, and Rupert? I...I love you."  
  
I think I jump into my car in record time, and make it to Buffy's within minutes. I look around the yard carefully, before pulling out my cross and getting out of the car. As I run up the steps, I think I hear Angel laughing from the bushes, but I waste no time and get inside. Shuting the door firmly behind me, I sigh with relief. I turn around and am greeted with 100 plus pounds of technopagan. Jenny is crying as she flys into my arms.  
  
"Jenny, it's alright. You're safe. I promise, you're safe."  
  
At that moment, Angel appears behind us. I grab Jenny and try to get her to run, but her body is limp in my arms. I look down at her and see that her neck as been broken. I look up to Angel and see Buffy in his arms. They are laughing as I hold Jenny in my arms, dead. I shake my head, trying to make sense of things, and Jenny disappears from my grasp. In her place is the picture Angel drew of her, eyes wide open on my bed. As I stare at the drawing, I hear Jenny's voice.  
  
"You promised me Rupert! You promised I'd be safe. And now you've killed me!"  
  
It's at that moment I wake up from my nightmare, soaked in sweat. For a brief second I wonder if it wasn't all a dream, but the broken glass on the floor that I didn't bother cleaning up tells me other wise.  
  
**Next Day**  
  
I stand with Buffy at Jenny's grave site. She appologises for not being able to kill Angel. But I have forgiven her, and I know Jenny has, too. She won't ever forgive herself though, and I know next time she comes up against Angel, it will be deadly...if not for him, then for her. She touches my arm then, and walks silently away.  
  
I don't know how long I've been standing here. I just can't bring myself to leave. How can I leave her in this place? She's alone.  
  
I place my hand on her gravestone, and suddenly I smell her perfume, as strongly as if she were right beside me. I close my eyes and imagine her. I hear her laugh, I see her smile. I feel her touch and I taste her kiss. And suddenly, I know this isn't goodbye. This is...see ya later.  
  
That night I lay in my bed, afraid to sleep, afraid of reliving the nightmare again. But as I drift off, I hear Jenny telling me everything is alright. And I know tonight I'll only dream of the good moments. She's safe now, and I'll see her again someday. That's how I go on. That's how I live. I live for her, because she can't. 


End file.
